I find it very difficult to explain with words what I am looking for. Perhaps Gnosis is a good word to use, I'm not sure. I enjoy intellectual stimulation at the same time so admittedly I would fulfill this need by reading spiritual and esoteric texts, but my true goal is to experience, and perhaps one day even realize enlightenment.
For an idea of something I have been drawn towards lately: I have looked into various esoteric and hermetic orders and have been most attracted to the Rosicrucians. I find that their monographs (lessons) fit in with my need for structure. For almost four years I have not been seeking in an organized manner, and that is one of the reasons I would like to find a Teacher. I would also like to improve upon myself as a person. I am far from perfect but have a desire to become better.
Currently I am involved in reading a book on Kabbalah. I fear that by studying Kabbalah on my own through books found in book stores that I could find myself in the middle of a celebrity religion book, and that is not my intention. The book I am reading at the moment is my first introduction to Kabbalah. It is called "The Kabbalah Experience: The Practical Guide to Kabbalistic Wisdom" by Naomi Ozaniec. Part of the book is found in Google Books if anyone is interested in seeing where I am right now in my studies: http://books.google.com/books?id=hoWH7QCICDIC
I have also found that a lot of these orders make use of magic. I do not know much, if anything, about magic. While I believe magic could possibly be useful on the path that I am on, my main need is to experience Truth and Light.
I would really like to find a Teacher; please contact me if you can help. My email address is light.of.sophia@gmail.com
Now, it might be too daring for you, but depending on how far you are already on your own spiritual journey, I might be able to offer you the direct spiritual stimulation that you seek. We will see. If you want to be prepared, you can look me up at http://theincubus.blogspot.com - but anyway, I will be in your dreams.
there are two types of Kabalah that I am aware of. Those that incorporate judism with it and those w/o.
Those w/o include ceremonial magicians, i.e. regardie, Crowley, DuQuette (The Chicken kabalah), scientists and mathmaticians, ect. The other group are those you'll find within the circle of www.kabbalahcenter.com (includes the celebs).
Lastly, Jews that incorporate kabalah with their judism.
May I suggest getting Lon DuQuettes The Chicken Qaballah. It's easy to read (lots of white space) written simply, and fun at the same time.
The kabalah center in L.A. will provide free mentorship with the purchase of their material (maybe you can borrow, buy, or steal it). I'd also suggest looking on meetup.com and craigslist for groups that meet your interests.
Please check out my website: www.51790.authorworld.com. This is a strange website for a reason: This is knowledge for the truly sincere and elite few. Only you can decide if you are one of these.
I've recently posted additional information than what's on this website on the esoteric forum. It is entitled: "The Secret of the Ages". You may find this additional information helpful as well.
Kabalah is often taken out of the exoteric/esoteric concept, and worse still, there are three ways to spell it, depending on the context; Qabalah, Kabalah, and Cabalah.
In regards to Magick, or Esoterica, you would look for books with the "Q" spelling. If I may recomend, Dion Fortune's, "The Mystical Qabalah," in particular.
Kabalah tends to indicate more of a spiritual bent, and is often used by the Jewish people when referring to it, as well as other religions when discussing it.
Cabalah, is metaphysical and therefore only (or should be only) to be used by Adepts for proper understanding.
I know this is an old thread, but if you're still around and looking for an online source of information for the beginner, feel free to visit:
www.templeofthemindseye.proboards.com
Please note however that some material is hidden from guests, so to have full access to the site, you would need to register, which is free of course.
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Meus Animus flos in Obscurum quod peto Lux lucis of Occultus Scientia
Ageless Wisdom will be here forever but the Piscean Age of gurus and spiritual teachers is over. The Aquarian Age is here and the approach is one of self-motivation (which you obviously have in abundance) and independent study but with some co-operative guidance.
There is such a school called the ARCANE SCHOOL that has been around since 1925 and is sponsored by www.lucistrust.org